Luctor et Emergo


 Caught up in our routines and aspirations, like fish convinced that their bowl is an ocean, we are confined by our shadows unable to confront our fears. Not experiencing the light of the Resurrection, we can only dream of having done so. 

Sometimes, like the prodigal son (Luke 15,11-32), we need to experience what it means to reach rock bottom before we can understand, because Golgotha precedes the empty tomb: Mary Magdalene’s love defines the difference (John 20,1-18). Ignoring this love, some think they are immune and persist in their delusions. Despite hearing his voice, they fail to recognise their ‘Rabboni’: fear constrains them; bolted doors highlight their anxious apprehensions (John 20,19).  

This anxiety is a repeated experience that needs exploring if one intends discipleship. Ignoring it is more common but dreams can become nightmares once the sun awakens from its sleepiness. Some pretend otherwise: like whirling dogs trying to catch their tails, they insist on understanding. Not having experienced the Risen Jesus, His peace is denied them (John 20,20). 

Refusing His peace but affirming His presence, boundaries disappear as exposed hearts discover their ignored emptiness. Loneliness accompanies unless solitude infiltrates our thirsty hearts as light penetrates darkened corners. Friendship enriches it, but that is easier said than done, because most friendships resemble companions on a bus awaiting their stop and disappearance. 

Some friendships are irreconcilable: they strengthen compromise as confines are crossed. Few understand; they mistake the necessary distancing for cruelty. Some noble souls surpass this impasse, but they are rare and far in between. 

As pointed out by Quasimodo’s “Ed รจ Subito Sera”, we must learn to stand alone before darkness overwhelms our brightness. Failing this test, confusion infiltrates and blurs our self-understanding. Dependence is neither sought nor desired because, in restricting our freedom, we find it difficult to follow the Magister in deeds rather than words. 


Martin


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