BOUNDARIES

 Speaking of boundaries, not to be confused with imposed restrictions, the City College of New York’s motto accompanies: “Respice, Adspice, Prospice” (Look to the Past; Look to the Present; Look to the Future). Boundaries invite us to consider our past as a means to understand the present and thus, provide for later events. This exercise is interpersonal because “No man is an island, entire of itself. Each is part of the continent, a part of the main” (John Donne, No Man is an Island). 

Boundaries resemble invisible bridges, enhancing our humanity by opening passages to appreciate others and how our differences can enrich our self-understanding. Lacking boundaries encourages violence, blinding us to others’ dignity as we refuse to let their faces reflect our own. Their absence forbids discipleship because we are too concerned with exploiting others, not with what we share with them. This misplaced understanding undermines our ability to practice ‘disinterested committed love’ (Agape). Lack of boundaries impairs discipleship because we are no longer focused on Christ in others. 

Boundaries resemble a double-decker bus, understood on different levels and contexts that vary according to culture, upbringing, experience, religious affiliation, and related expectations. Within this understanding, boundaries focus on inclusivity, as opposed to exclusivity: tolerance, instead of intolerance. This affirmation is not an excuse to unquestioningly accept what contradicts our dignity or endangers it. On the contrary, it challenges us to examine our core values to reach out to others, neither coercing nor intimidated by them. 

Core values, such as respecting the person’s dignity, independent of race, religious beliefs, sexual orientation and political affiliations, influence and sustain our understanding of boundaries, which entails that our freedom from others is balanced by a responsibility for others. This affirmation involves a unifying openness, which is sustained by the common good as a core value (Gaudium Et Spes, 26.1-3). 

The common good reminds us of the need to recognise the sacredness of human life and that the dignity of the human person is the foundation of a moral vision in a society focused on solidarity, informed by personal rights and our responsibilities towards the vulnerable.

Insofar as these core values strengthen our ability to live harmoniously together, respecting our differences, they witness an evangelical understanding whereby we are challenged to re-examine the Magister’s insight that “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6,21). This insight helps us focus on Christ: how His presence informs our understanding of boundaries, so that our witnessing Christ is focused on “self-emptying” (Kenosis), which empowers us to practice solidarity.

Boundaries provide the basis for healthy inter-relationships whose objective is to eliminate abuse and deepen a shared understanding of each other. Recognising others’ expectations demands flexibility that does not betray our core values. Our unpreparedness or unwillingness to familiarise with these expectations and respect them, it is best to take to heart Pope’s warning that “Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread” (Alexander Pope, An Essay on Criticism).

Boundaries provide guidelines, which allow us to establish reasonable ways to live with each other without betraying the core values that make us who we are. On the other hand, these guidelines raise questions that help us better understand our willingness to understand each other without a need to judge or condemn. This is possible when we acknowledge how our differing stories and experiences contribute to our self-understanding, as they enrich our shared dignity.


Martin


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